how can u be prego again
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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