last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
