I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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