what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
