Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
