my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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