Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
