Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
