when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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