..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
