All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
...so i touched it.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
