he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
