drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
