I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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