im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
