Don't you send me to vm
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
