I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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