can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
