We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
