eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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