I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
