i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
