Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
