Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
