her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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