I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I have aggressive nipples.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
