maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
