Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
