Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
