I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
