Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
