I'm so fucking centered right now
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
