yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
