i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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