Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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