When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
