he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
