i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
