She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
