take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
