At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
well you can't waste a boner
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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