I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Farmville is her only friend.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
