you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
