whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
