Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
