It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
