it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize