apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
