Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
