You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
