Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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