i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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