Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
