Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
