I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
