the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
