so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
