I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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