In the future we'll all be gay
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
