Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
