wat bout pragnant strippers??
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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