just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
