It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
