I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
