Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
