he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How does one acquire holy water?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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