the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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