she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
