And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize