i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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