I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
