She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
